A little less than a year ago, Summer and I received our call for vicarage to Christ Church Lutheran in Phoenix, Arizona.
It was exactly what we hoped would happen. Summer's parents live in Sedona. I knew the Schrank family. Pastor Ben Schrank was a good friend to me in dark time in my life.
It was during a time when I was living and working in San Antonio. I was fresh out of college; I hated my job. I had almost no direction for my life. I knew I wasn't where I was supposed to be. I wasn't in the right job. I was angry. I was apathetic towards God, towards ministry, towards everything. I was running away from God, honestly.
Anyway, Ben and I would get coffee. He'd let me vent about all of these things.
Ben helped me sort through my issues, my frustrations, my fears. Those conversations were vitally important to my spiritual development. I was wrestling with a lot of anxiety. Ben was my counselor.
Eventually, after even more running, praying, and holding out, I ended up at Seminary. God made it clear that I needed to go to St. Louis, and He would make the rest clear once I got there. Not all at once, but day by day.
Two years of study and two years of sacrifice by my wife, and we get the call to come to Phoenix. The next weekend, we got on a plane and flew to Phoenix to visit the congregation.
We landed in Phoenix and were met by a strawberry, carrying a basket filled with my favorite drink -- Topo Chico. The strawberry's opening line was "I'm berry glad you're here."
I knew Pastor Jeff. I expected something like this, but Summer was equal parts delighted and confused. I remember her laughing as we watched a strawberry slowly make its way out of the airport.
After Summer and I checked into our hotel, the three of us went to breakfast at a place near the church. We talked for a while, about expectations, hopes, concerns, start date, possible living situations, just about everything.
He asked me how I was feeling about this whole vicarage thing.
He knew I was having doubts, about vicarage, about ministry in general. I had told him before about my frustrations with the Seminary program. He knew I really did not want to be anyone's vicar. Not because there's anything wrong with that, but because I felt there was too much wrong with me and my fit for that role.
I felt this whole thing was doomed to fail. And I pretty much told him that. After a few minutes of letting me vent, I remember him telling me to ask myself two questions...
"Am I where God wants me to be, and am I doing what God wants me to do?"
If you've spent any time around Pastor Jeff, then you've probably heard him ask these questions.
I know, for myself, they have helped me get my bearings over the last year. I don't love everything about ministry. There are still days when I have doubts. But I pray over those two questions, and then I try to do whatever God puts in front of me.
20 years ago today, Pastor Jeff and his family took a call to Phoenix, Arizona. They did what God had put in front of them. I really think that's the best any of us can do.
And God blessed them. He blessed their ministry. And what started 20 years ago has blessed thousands of people, including myself.
So, my hope is that you'll start praying over those two questions.
Am I where God wants me to be? Am I doing what God wants me to do?
If the answer is yes, then that's terrific! If the answer is no, then trust that God will point you in the right direction.
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