I don't really even know where to start this blog post.
10 years ago, today, I lost my brother to suicide.
It is still so hard to wrap my head around that loss.
Obviously, the grief is not the same as it was 10 years ago. It has, for lack of a better term, matured. Evolved? I'm sure there are better words to use, but I can't think of them.
The grief becomes a part of you. On May 28, 2010, I fundamentally changed.
The sad truth is that when you lose someone, you don't just lose the person, you lose so many memories, so many stories, so many jokes.
Those losses become a part of you.
I was 16, a sophomore in high school. It felt like life had ended; it felt like the world was crashing down around me. I was so sad, so confused, so hopeless. I felt empty. I had no idea what life would have in store for me.
But I learned to live a day at a time.
Here I am a decade later. I got a degree. Met some of my very best friends. I've worked some jobs I liked, some I didn't like. I moved to St. Louis to get another degree. I met the love of my life. I married the love of my life. Now, here we are in Phoenix.
One day at time. Truly, God only knows what comes next.
I'm 26 and life has just begun. I have been given so much more than I deserve.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." - Romans 15:13
That word, in Greek, for "abound" is περισσεύειν. It means to "exceed, to be over and above, to overflow."
I am overflowing with hope.
God is good. God is kind.
Amen.
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